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This video is not the sort of content you should share with your kids. Or your pets. Or your neighbor's pets. Don't bother playing it for your boss or your banker or your mother-in-law. You won't do your travel agent any favors by showing it to her either. And if you make your preacher watch it, chances are good he'll swing a big curled-up fist in your direction.

But YOU are gonna' love it. Trust us. We have a sense about these sorts of things. 

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Do us a favor - keep track of how many times you listen to this Humor On Hold production that Scott wrote and voiced for BusinessVoice client Lakeland Auto and Marine. We'll jot down your number in a little notebook that we keep under the house. What happens to that information after that will be anybody's guess. 

 

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We hope you enjoy this Humor On Hold production for BusinessVoice client Med-Line Express Services. May it go down smoothly with no unpleasant aftertaste or even the threat of constipation. 

Scott chiseled the copy into the side of a slowly moving boxcar. Amy and Scott provided the voiceover with no regard for their own safety. 

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We think it's a shame you have to be subjected to the audio below. A dirty, rotten shame, that's what it is.

You should NOT have to put up with it. In fact, we wouldn't blame you if you sat down and wrote your Congressman or an area sheriff's deputy or your local grocer to see if you can be excused from listening to it. That's what we'd do if we were you.

I mean, the NERVE of some people - suggesting you take time away from your random Internet browsing to listen to this trash! We can see why you'd be hotter than a dead cat in an Arizona parking lot about the whole thing. 

Of course, by the time you find a pen and a piece of paper and write your complaint letter and fold it real nice and stick it in an envelope and hunt down a stamp you could have already listened to the thing and it would be over and done with, and then you could move on with your life. 

So, look, why don't you do that? Just listen to it. And, afterwards, if you decide you want to hire Amy and Scott for a voiceover project, then great - you can drop them an This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or give them a call at (419)724-7330.

But that doesn't mean you have to like any part of this process! Not one part of it!

So at least there's that. 

 

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"Should I write an acceptance speech?" Scott pondered aloud.

He had just learned that his BusinessVoice work won two 2020 Communicator Awards. 

"What am I going to wear to the ceremony?" he thought.

"I wonder if they'll pick us up in a limo and drop us off at the red carpet," he said. 

"I'd better come up with some snappy replies for the reporters and paparazzi," he reasoned.

"Oh, and I hear the after-parties at these types of things are amazing!" he beamed.

Amy asked, "You know they just send those awards in the mail, right?" 

"I'll be up on the roof," Scott oozed.

(Listen to the two winning Humor On Hold productions below.)

 

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Two months into the quarantine, Scott figured it was about time to start pokin' fun at the Coronavirus. He thought that by jabbin' at it via the On Hold Marketing production below he could damage the virus's self-esteem, encouraging it to curl up and go away. That, in turn, would start a global tide of healing.

Perfectly sound strategy, right? 

Well, it turned out to be an idiotic notion.

Let's just hope this audio nonsense doesn't make the virus any angrier. 

 

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Here's the story of Werk-Brau, a Findlay, Ohio company founded in 1947. The video was produced by MadAveGroup. 

In order to capture the feel of the brand, Scott wrote the script with a giant pencil he picked up with a backhoe, then manipulated using the Werk-Brau Grading and Grapple Rake. Scott said, "I chose to write with this attachment because each heavy-duty tine is supported by reinforcing plates, and gussets are placed between the tines for added strength."

Before delivering the voiceover, Scott gargled with a mouthful of gravel that was pulled from a quarry using the Werk-Brau PowerGrip Bucket with the hardened greasable bushings. "And I think you can really hear the difference," he said. 

 

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Decades from now, when discussions turn to the great game shows of all time, Hold It will not appear on anyone's Top 300 list. So, take a moment now to experience what critics have called "some sort of mistake" and "an obvious lapse in judgement" and "the game show that makes all other game shows seem tolerable by comparison" and "an irresponsible waste of hard drive space" and "Satan's practical joke." 

Chris Hamann, the big boss at BusinessVoice client Lakeland Auto and Marine, pronounced the work "awesome," adding "this is great." Scott wrote the copy, while providing the announcer and host voiceover simultaneouly. Amy pitched in with the final VO and passed out sandwiches to the crew. 

 

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This unique On Hold Marketing production for the BusinessVoice client Binkelman serves as a reminder to all receptionists: always put callers on hold. Don't just set the phone down on your desk. Oh, and keep a tub of sanitary wipes handy, 'cause you never know when you'll have to clean up a puddle of possum goo. 

Spencer LeGros, Creative Director at Your Media People, wrote, "This idea is genius! My hat is off to you guys." We have no proof that Spencer was wearing a hat prior to posting that comment; nor can we confirm that he actually removed a hat in honor of our work. We suspect he may have just been invoking a common idiom.

Amy serves as the primary voice actor. Scott wrote the copy and shows up as the announcer and skeezy Rick.

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Ironically, this On Hold Marketing production for BusinessVoice client International Translating Company doesn't need to be translated. Well, if you speak English, that is. If you speak another language exclusively, then yes, it would need to be translated. But if you don't speak English, you're not able to read this introduction, so we needn't concern ourselves with you and what you think or if you're offended or feel left out because this content hasn't been translated into your native tongue.

But, yeah, we should and if you are, we do. Sorry about that.

There. Glad we got it all cleared up.